Photo credit: Wikipedia
“Oh my gawwwwd, Vanessa! You should have seen that dog!” exclaimed Lynda in her Brooklyn accent, right hand on her hip. “That weird looking dog walked in here and I knew it was mixed with something. The lady said it was a Schnauzer Poodle. What the heck is that supposed to be?” Lynda asked me the very second I walked into the dog park.
“You know,” she continued while waving her hands in the air, “Everyone is mixing everything with a poodle. What’s the big deal?”
She pointed her right index finger at me. ”YOU gotta find out. Then you gotta blog about it.”
I scratched my head and replied, “Well, I’ve always been allergic to dogs, so maybe it’s because they end up semi-hypoallergenic?”
Lynda side-eyed me and raised her left eyebrow, “I dunno about that.”
Crossing her arms, Lynda muttered, “It must be a fad. Everybody’s doing it.”
“Speaking of fads,” Nicole chimed in from her seat on the bench, “What is the deal with that ‘twerking?’”
“Finally, I can contribute to the conversation,” I thought, with a mental smirk.
Addressing Lynda and Nicole with outstretched arms I excitedly explained, “‘Twerking’ is a dance craze and it is ALL over the place! Kind of like those GoldenDoodles that Lynda is talking about.”
Photo credit: Wikipedia
Lynda clicked her tongue. “Oh come on, Vanessa. Maybe I keep seeing poodle mixes, but I sure haven’t seen anybody twerk.”
I quickly glanced at my teen-aged daughter sitting not too far away from Nicole. She made eye contact, shook her head and mouthed, “No.” She lowered her head and returned to texting her friends.
Nicole saved my daughter the embarrassment of her mother explaining and/or demonstrating twerking. She piped in with, “Oh, they get down! There is rump rocking, hip shaking, chest jerking, and even some of yoga’s ‘downward dog.’ The downward dog is combined with all that other stuff.”
“Ugh!” Lynda exclaimed, her accent deeper now. “THAT is twerking? That!”
I interjected, “Yep – and get this. One day at work my boss had a twerk competition as a team builder. She showed everyone a Stevie TV spoof of Intervention. In it, Stevie played a character that was addicted to twerking. Highly inappropriate, but hilarious. I’m glad I worked from home that day!”
Nicole grunted, “No. That video isn’t even funny compared to the Golden Sisters twerk video.”
Lynda became excited. “Oh I LOVE the Golden Sisters! Yeah, send me that one.”
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“OK,” replied Nicole. “I’ll email you the video.”
At that point, I smiled and walked away and then ran around with my dog. I tend to be a square, and there was no way for me to keep speaking intelligently about Labradoodles and twerking.
I threw a tennis ball for my dog to chase, and reflected about how square I am.
I retrieved the ball from my dog’s mouth and thought about the times I have looked in the bathroom mirror, leaned over the counter, and then told myself, “Vanessa, you are SUCH a square. You are beautiful, you are a child of God, and girl, you are a square. Proud of it, too!”
At those times, I straighten back up, smile, and give myself a final glance. Then my eyes leave the mirror and drop to the flo’ flo’ flo’ and I go back to my twerking practice because although I am a square, the Golden Sisters were right on when they said twerking is a good work out!
I grinned and realized I could continue to contribute to the conversation, after all. I happily skipped back over to Lynda and Nicole.
“Hey ladies,” I exclaimed, “Watch this!”